Psalms 23:2 states "He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside quiet waters." (NASB) Other translations will say "still waters", but however it is translated it describes a peaceful place, a place of rest.
I have no still waters right now. My emotions are raw with fear and anger and almost everything makes me want to lash out or break down in tears. (See my previous post for background on what is happening.) And things are not getting any better. She has been in a facility for a month now and she has learned to play their system so well that her insurance is thinking of discharging her due to not having any behaviors. No medication, no progress in therapies, no changes whatsoever and to be sent home to do the same things again. Nope. I have two other children and a wife to protect.
I am so angry at the people who said that they were going to help. Angry at the hollow words spoken on admission of promises not kept. Sad and scared of the possibility of more trauma to our other children and ourselves. Overwhelmed at the fact that I cannot change this situation that we are sitting in.
We do not know the future. We cannot say for sure what is going to happen and we cannot lean on our own understanding. We are trying to trust in the Lord, to walk down the paths where He leads and go through the doors that he is opening.
I know that God is a good father. I know that He wants what is best for us and our children and that He intentionally gives us what He does. That is why I am trying to not allow this fear and anger get the best of me. Since He is intentionally good to us, I will intentionally worship Him.
This is my song for today: Intentional by Travis Greene
May these lyrics bless you as you hear that "all things to work together for the good to those who love God" (Romans 8:28 NASB)
